Yes Expands Your Life

Yes is a small word that can quietly expand your life – or keep you stuck, depending on how often you use it. Sometimes it’s easy to say. Other times, it’s uncomfortable enough that we default to no without thinking. And that default no? It shuts down more opportunities than most people realize. So what happens when you interrupt that pattern and start saying yes more often?

My Personal Struggle with Saying Yes

Earlier this year our daughter and son-in-law asked us if we would be interested and able to join them on a cruise the first week of February, which was only about two weeks away. They wanted us to help with watching our little granddaughter so they could enjoy the cruise without having to worry about her the whole time.

My first reaction was to say no. My wife and I had just taken a cruise in October, and I wasn’t sure it made sense to go on another so soon. Don’t get me wrong, I love cruising! My wife was in between jobs at the time, and I wasn’t sure if it was the right thing for us to do.

Then, I had the main message from the movie Yes Man (in my recommended movie list) pop into my head. I softened my no to a maybe and suggested we look into it. It turned out to be a last-minute cruise and they also had a good promotion running at the time, and we could afford it. My only hesitation was that I felt like I should be working from home during that week.

After giving it some thought, I realized that I could do the work I needed to do while on the cruise ship. That simple shift turned a hesitation into a yes – and that yes gave us time with our kids and our granddaughter, and some unforgettable memories.

Yes Brings Opportunities

Why do we (or should we) say yes? There are several reasons. On a basic level, saying yes opens us up to expand our life. It allows us to discover and learn new things.

Opportunities are funny things in that they often show up in disguise. As Mark Twain said, “Most people miss opportunities because they usually show up wearing overalls and look like work.”

I can’t tell you how many times things have not worked out the way that I had wanted them to go. Yet, looking back I realized that I was glad they worked out the way they actually did turn out.

…New Experiences

Sometimes opportunities can be found in new experiences. How can we know if we like something or not unless we actually try it? By exposing ourselves to new experiences, we encounter new things and activities. It can also bring us into contact with new people.

A new experience doesn’t have to be something big. It can be trying a new food. Driving a different route to work. Or, it can be watching a different type of movie than you usually watch.

Saying yes to going on the cruise with our kids and granddaughter was a new experience. My wife and I have been on a couple cruises, but this was the first time that we took a cruise with other family members.

…Expands Our Horizons

When we try new things, we expand our horizons. We can meet people who are culturally different from us. By learning that we also have a lot of similarities, we can expand our world view.

It is interesting to me that people tend to think that the way things are done where they live (or grew up) is the right way, best way, or only way to do something. When we travel to a foreign country and see that things can be done differently (and they are not done wrong), that expands our mind.

One of the times when saying yes expanded my horizon was when I said yes to moving from Idaho to British Columbia. My father-in-law invited us to move to Canada when things weren’t working out for us in Idaho. I was not interested in moving to Canada when he invited us. After giving it some thought and weighing our options, I did say yes. (And that was a pivotal decision in my life.)

…And Encourages Growth

Saying yes to new things and experiences opens up to expand our lives and minds as well as it encourages us to grow. We can come across a new idea and decide to try it out. Does it work for us? Is it an improvement, or is it just different?

Growing and learning is what becoming is all about. When we step outside our comfort zone is when we grow. And yes, it is uncomfortable to step outside our comfort zone. We can always step back into our comfort zone, though. If we allow ourselves to be uncomfortable for short durations, we will find that our comfort zone expands.

While saying yes opens us up to expand our lives and minds, we must also keep things grounded. The most important way for us to not just wildly say yes to everything, we need to anchor ourselves in our values.

It Must Align with Your Values

Referring back to the movie Yes Man, he thought that he was supposed to say yes to everything that came his way. Party all night with friends? Yes! Meet up for an early morning class (after the all-nighter)? Yes. That is not productive.

The first filter to run the request through is to ask yourself if it aligns with your values. If it doesn’t align, then that is an easy no. The objective is not to say yes to everything, it is to say yes to opportunities, experiences, and expansion.

Allow For Timing (Seasonal Flow)

Another filter to run the request through is to ask yourself if this is the right time. This may not be the right season in your life to do this. Listen to what your gut is telling you.

A word of caution, though. Don’t let this filter become an excuse for you to decline something that you ought to say yes to. Say you are in your first year of school working on your bachelor’s degree. You are offered a 6-figure salary to be the CEO of a company. That job offer may be better than an offer that would come to you after completing your degree.

I think of a traffic light analogy with taking action. When the light is green… Go. If the light is yellow… proceed with caution. When the light is red… stop. Now is not the time.

Can You Do It Safely?

The safety of accepting the request does not have to be extreme. Juggling chainsaws is easy for most people to decline! There are other requests that come our way that may be tempting to do, yet it is best that we don’t.

Some people have the skills, talents, and tools to make home repairs. Other people can turn a small repair into a large repair. If you are in the second category, it is best to delegate (or hire) someone else to do the repair for you.

Safety isn’t just physical. It could cost you more to prepare your own taxes than it would to have them done professionally. On the other hand, you may be more qualified than a seasonal employee at a discount tax prep business. The trick is to know your limits and abilities.

What Are The Consequences of Yes?

These filters and cautions add up to one important question. What are the consequences of you saying yes to the request? Is there more upside than downside? If it doesn’t work out as anticipated, is it reversible?

Take the cruise, for example. If it had been a disaster, we would have been home in a week with a funny story to tell. The downside was limited, the upside was not.

Decisions Not Permanent

A final thought to leave you with on saying yes, is that most decisions can be changed down the road, if needed. Most things in life are not permanent – in fact the most permanent thing in life is change!

Up until a few years ago I used to think “permanent” meant forever. Then, I noticed that permanent buildings sometimes get torn down and replaced. Permanent marker fades. If it works for you, think of decisions as being “until change is needed” because permanent doesn’t mean forever, it usually just means long term.

Summary

I want to encourage you to say yes to opportunities that will add to your life. They can expand your horizons. Create learning opportunities for you. Maybe allow you to have a new experience.

Saying yes opens the door to possibilities. Some of which we don’t even know exist until they come our way. Some of these will be mediocre, others will be phenomenal. The thing is, you won’t know which are which until you say yes!

This week, find one thing that you’ve been defaulting to no on – and say yes.